Thursday, December 03, 2009

Cellphone Cancer Study
A new study shows there is no cancer link to using cellphones... it's just that everyone WISHES that the people who never stop talking on the their cellphones would get cancer.

Woods PR Plan
Tiger Woods may be planning to come clean about his personal life on the Oprah Winfrey Show. But if Tiger wants a really sympathetic audience, he should probably do it on David Letterman's show.

GM CEO Search
The General Motors board is looking for a CEO who can modernize the company. For example, the directors are adamant that the new chief install indoor plumbing at GM headquarters.

WWI Vet on the Hill
The 108-year-old last American veteran of World War I will appear at a Senate hearing today. It will probably be nice for him to finally speak to a group of people older than he is.

NATO in Afghanistan
NATO is pledging 7,000 troops for the war in Afghanistan... which is too bad, because for just 1,500 troops more NATO could have had the free mug and tote bag.

December 4th

1259: Kings Louis IX of France and Henry III of England agree to the Treaty of Paris, in which Henry renounces his claims to French territory in exchange for Louis withdrawing from Henry's wife.

1563: The Catholic Church's final session of the Council of Trent is held. Branding people as heretics just hasn't been as much fun since.

1783: At Fraunces Tavern in New York City, US General George Washington formally bids his officers farewell... and reminds them not to bother him while he tries to sleep with his slaves.

1982: The People's Republic of China adopts its current constitution, written on the purloined kidney of an executed political protester.


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