Copenhagen Quickie
President Obama is now in Copenhagen where he says there is no time to waste on climate change deal... mostly because climate scientists are running out of data to falsify.



Emission Evasion
China is demanding billions of dollars of American money to go green, but refuses to submit to any carbon emissions verification program. But the only group that can get away with taking that much taxpayer money with nothing to show for it is the U.S. Congress.



Nazi Sign Swiped
An infamous Nazi sign has been stolen from the gates of the Auschwitz death camp. Police expect it will be most likely turn up in a few days at a DMV office in the U.S.



Fake Stuff
As holiday shopping hits a climax, police across the country are reporting a surge in counterfeit goods. They include TV's, cell phones, and health care reform.



Orphanage Endorsement
A new Duke University study asserts that children who grow up in orphanages do just as well as kids who live with families. It's clear if that conclusion is based on real data, or just because the Duke Drama Club recently put on an excellent production of Annie.






218 BC: In the Second Punic War, Hannibal's Carthaginian forces defeat the Roman Republic. This is not to be confused with the Second Pubic War, which was clearly fought over the filthy urinal on the 12th floor of my building.


1271: Kublai Khan renames his empire "Yuan," officially marking the start of the Yuan Dynasty of Mongolia and China and forcing dozens of restaurants on the Upper West Side to change the titles on their menus.


1898: Gaston de Chasseloup-Laubat sets the new land speed record going 39.245 mph. 111 years later, New York City buses have still not even come close to matching this record.


1912: The Piltdown Man, later discovered to be a hoax, is "found" in the Piltdown Gravel Pit, by Charles Dawson and a bunch of global warming scientists from Britian.