Anchor Injured
ABC World News Tonight co-anchor Bob Woodruff and cameraman Doug Vogt are in serious condition after being injured by a roadside bomb in Iraq. The incident has prompted right wing bloggers to publicly state that they still support the war but oppose the journalists.

Insurgent Apology
Iraqi insurgent leaders are already apologizing for the attack that left ABC World News Tonight co-anchor Bob Woodruff and cameraman Doug Vogt seriously injured. The terrorists say they were really trying to get someone from FOX News.

Palestinian Unrest
Defiant Fatah militants and Hamas terrorists seem destined for civil war in the Palestinian territories. The loser will have to take responsibility for feeding Suha Arafat.

Bush Preps
As he prepares for Tuesday's State of the Union address, the White House says President Bush is likely to focus on modest goals... like getting through his State of the Union Address.

Top 5 Banned Words in President Bush's State of the Union Address

5) "Lobbyist"

4) "WMD's"

3) "Enron"

2) "Nuclear"

1) "Brokeback"

Silvio's Promise
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is promising not to have sex until after the April 9th national elections. That's because he wants to rest up before he screws the whole Italian nation for another 4 1/2 years.

Baby Rescued
A barely-alive infant baby was found stuffed inside a plastic bag in a Brazilian lake this weekend. This is a horrific story, but somehow, liberals and conservatives in the United States will find a way to blame this on each other.