Friday, February 12, 2010

Luge Concerns
The luge track is still a concern at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. In fact, the only thing going faster than the racers are the personal injury lawyers chasing after Olympic officials.

Times Blames Wall Street
The New York Times is now blaming Wall Street for Greece's financial collapse. Apparently, the guys at Goldman Sachs never left much of a tip at the Greek diner across the street from their office.

Global Warming... Not!
The world's leading global warming theorist now admits that there's been no global warming since 1995. Please feel free to run this man over with your Hummer right now.

'Bama Shooter Priors
It turns out the Alabama biology professor who gunned down three of her co-workers Friday also killed her own brother and was involved in a bomb plot back in the 90's. The moral of the story is clear: if you're a woman with any scientific knowledge at all, you can get a job at an American university no matter how crazy you are.

Elderly Killer Dies
The oldest death row inmate in the U.S. has died of natural causes at age 94. It's not clear if he remained in jail because he couldn't get parole or because he just wanted to keep getting the free cable and health insurance.

February 15th

1906: The British Labour Party is organized. It hasn't been organized since.

1952: King George VI is buried in St. George's Chapel at Windsor Castle... an embarrassing mistake, since he wasn't dead yet.

2001: The first map of the complete Human Genome is published in Nature. It is considered a general failure because the map does not show any locations for restrooms.


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