Saturday, December 26, 2009

Plane Bomber Latest
Critics are still blasting the TSA for allowing an alleged Nigerian terrorist to board a plane headed to Detroit on Christmas day. Experts say screeners missed several suspicious behaviors, especially the fact that someone was willingly going to Detroit.

Tiger's Book on Tape
A new audio version of Tiger Woods' "How I Play Golf" book is due out this spring. The CD and MP3 versions will contain bonus tracks with Tiger's greatest booty call voice mail messages to his mistresses.

Ford Buyout Offers
Ford is now offering buyouts to tens of thousands of its UAW employees. In other words, Ford will be paying them not to work... as opposed to what it does now, which is paying them to pretend to work.

Confusing Meyer Status
After initially saying he would resign because of health reasons, Florida Head Coach Urban Meyer now says he is just taking a short leave of absence. Meyer is reportedly getting a doctor's note from the same physician who makes sure all his best players get excused from class.

East Jerusalem Construction
Israel has announced plans to build 700 new apartments in East Jerusalem, outraging thousands of Palestinians who say they may not have the manpower to blow them up.

December 28th

1944: Maurice Richard becomes the first player to score 8 points in one NHL game and still have more than 3 teeth at the final buzzer.

1973: Congress passes the Endangered Species Act. Unfortunately, if fails to preserve the most endangered species of all... honest Congressmen.

1981: The first American test-tube baby, Elizabeth Jordan Carr, is born... allowing dateless women over 45 everywhere the chance to delude themselves for another 10 years.


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