Monday, December 28, 2009

Car Theft Down
FBI figures show that all crimes are sharply down in 2009, especially car theft. Experts say this is because of better policing, better car alarms, and the fact that stealing cars is nowhere near as much fun as playing Grand Theft Auto.

Volcker Getting Hitched
Former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker has just become engaged at age 82. Shares of Viagra maker Pfizer are up 17% on the news.

Pontiac/Saturn Fire Sale
General Motors is desperate to sell as many Pontiacs and Saturns in the coming weeks as it discontinues those brands. GM plans to do that by cutting prices, offering rebates, and getting the government to use extra Pontiacs and Saturns to house transfered Gitmo detainees.

Obama on Terror
President Obama is working to reassure Americans after the attempted airplane bombing on Christmas Day. He's reminding everyone that terrorists will never get to us before our creditors anyway.

Failed Flight
A homeless Maryland man tried to leave town in a stolen plane but crashed the single-engine aircraft before ever leaving the ground. The only way he'll get on a plane now is if he goes to Yemen and learns how to sew a bomb into his underwear.

December 29th

1170: Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, is assassinated inside Canterbury Cathedral by followers of King Henry II; he subsequently becomes a saint, martyr, and one of the best selling images on the "Saints on Plates" series from the Franklin Mint.

1813: British soldiers burn Buffalo, New York during the War of 1812. Not surprisingly, the city looked better after the burning.

1851: The first American YMCA opens in Boston, Massachusetts. 17 local gay bars go out of business from the competition.

1989: Václav Havel is elected president of Czechoslovakia when he becomes the only man in the world who is able to spell "Czechoslovakia" on the first try.


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