January 22nd


1521: Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor, opens the Diet of Worms… all things being equal, most of the attendees opt for the South Beach Diet instead.

1973: The Supreme Court of the United States delivers its decision in Roe v. Wade, allowing white liberals to finally start celebrating the killings of black children again.

1987: Philippine security forces open fire on a crowd of 10,000–15,000 demonstrators at Malacañang Palace, Manila, killing 13… proving that Phillipino security force can’t shoot worth a damn.