Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Edwards Sex Tape
Authorities have seized the videotape showing former presidential candidate John Edwards having sex with ex-mistress Rielle Hunter. Experts believe it could put every company making appetite suppression pills out of business.

China Pollution
China now admits that its water is more polluted than previously thought. It turns out that's where they dump the 5,000 people the country executes every day.

Snow Day in D.C.
Because of another snowstorm in Washington, only essential government workers have to show up to their offices today. Now the only problem is finding an essential government worker.

L.A. Welfare Dodge
Los Angeles is spending $7.2 million to show its poorest residents how to apply for federal instead of state welfare. A cheaper alternative is just election them all to Congress.

Nets Lose Again
The New Jersey Nets are now 4-47 on the season. That means each player on the Nets now has more tattoos than victories.

February 10th

1798: Louis Alexandre Berthier invades Rome, proclaims a Roman Republic, takes Pope Pius VI prisoner, and give the entire College of Cardinals wedgies.

1962: Captured American spy pilot Gary Powers is exchanged for captured Soviet spy Rudolf Abel and a utility infielder.

1996: The IBM supercomputer Deep Blue defeats Garry Kasparov at chess for the first time. It's now 14 years later and neither of them has seen a woman naked.


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