Hitler's Skull
New DNA tests on what was thought to be the skull of Adolf Hitler show that it actually belonged to a woman. Experts now believe that Hitler's real skull is now being used by Mahomoud Ahmadinejad.



Tufts Dorm Sex Rules
Tufts University has now put a rule in writing that bans having sex when your roommate is in the room. But since this is Tufts, this is only likely to happen about once every 16 years.



Gender-Bender Candidate
A transgendered attorney is running for the Oklahoma state legislature. The opposition is painting him/her as just another politician who plays both sides of the issues.



Chicago Lobbying
President Obama and the First Lady say they are taking the "gloves off" as they lobby to get the 2016 Olympic Games for Chicago. Also taking the gloves off was the mob of Chicago teens who beat another teen to death this weekend in what they're calling their Olympic ultimate fighting exhibition.



NSF Porn Scandal
A new report shows that porn surfing is so common at the National Science Foundation that the agency's inspector general was unable to handle all the cases... but that was mostly because the inspectors insisted on checking out every alleged porn site for 16 hours each.





September 29th


1227: Frederick II, Holy Roman Emperor, is excommunicated by Pope Gregory IX for his failure to go on crusade. Frederick had been telling the Pope he'd go as soon as the game was over, but then the Vatican realized pro football wasn't even going to be around for another 700 years.


1567: At a dinner, the Duke of Alba arrests the Count of Egmont and the Count of Hoorn for treason. Those hors d'oeuvres must ave been really bad.


1963: The second period of the Second Vatican Council opens. The period had ended in a 1-1 tie wth six shots on goal for each side.


1971: Oman joins the Arab League. The country immediately puts together an impressive lineup of five vicious dictators and a terrorist to be named later.


2008: The Dow Jones Industrial Average falls 777.68 points, the largest single-day point loss in its history. The huge drop means Goldman Sachs employees will have to suffer with an average bonus of $10 million each instead of $10.1 million each.