Monday, March 19, 2007

CBS Internships
CBS News has launched a new internship application program called "Springboard," which asks college students to send in evidence of their "special talents"... like the ability to forge National Guard documents and then pack up a recently fired executive producer's desk in under 15 minutes.

Spector Trial
Record producer Phil Spector goes on trial for murder in Los Angeles today. Spector is also being sued in another L.A. court for illegally stealing his look from the people who make the Chia Pet.

Mars Ice
A spacecraft orbiting Mars has scanned huge deposits of water ice at its south pole so plentiful they would blanket the planet in 36 feet of water if they were liquid. But the people of Mars needn't worry; Al Gore is on the way.

Hooters in Israel
U.S. restaurant chain Hooters, known for waitresses in low-cut blouses and short skirts, will open its first branch in Tel Aviv this summer. In a landmark agreement, Arab terrorists and ultra Orthodox Jews have both agreed to bomb the restaurant within two weeks of its opening.

New Super Jumbo Jet
The world's largest passenger plane, the 555-seat Airbus A380, made its debut in the United States on Monday. The new jet is expected to set records for stranding the most people at departure gates for years to come.

Older Opposition
A new poll shows that a growing number of Americans over the age of 50 oppose the war in Iraq. But it's not clear if they're really against the war, or if they just want to get more use out of all those peace signs they made in the 60's.

Diplomatic Visit
Palestinian Authority prime minister Ismail Haniyeh received his first Western dignitary at his Gaza City headquarters Monday... and promptly kidnapped him.

Hitler Citizenship
In a symbolic gesture of national remorse, a German politician is seeking to officially revoke Adolf Hitler's German citizenship. But if the resolution passes, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has offered to immediately make Hitler a full citizen of Iran.

Ahmadinejad Trip
The U.S. government has granted a visa to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, allowing him to travel to New York next week... but only if he flies on JetBlue or U.S. Airways during a weekend snowstorm.

King Surgery
Larry King underwent vascular surgery Friday... a procedure medical ethicists are questioning because Larry King died about 7 years ago.


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