Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Top 5 Taunts Overheard at Saddam's Hanging

5) "Let's Go Mets!"

4) "Ba Ba Booey! Ba Ba Booey!"

3) "Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye!"

2) "Your Still Owe Me Five Bucks You Bastard!"

1) "The Roof, The Roof, The Roof is On Fire..."

Guard Detained
Meanwhile, a prison guard suspected of videotaping Saddam's hanging has been arrested. He's going to have to explain why he couldn't keep his damn cell phone camera steady for more than two seconds.

Ford Services
President Ford's passing and the numerous memorial services and funerals have taught Americans an important lesson: if you really want to be remembered, it isn't enough to be a president, you must also die during a slow news week.

Steven's Tears
The late President Gerald Ford's son Steven broke down during memorial services for his father Tuesday. He now realizes his future acting career will only consist of playing his dad on the Lifetime TV Movie of the Week.

Home Depot CEO Ousted
Home Depot CEO Bob Nardelli has been fired for what critics call his "aloofness."
Nardelli's supporters insist that he isn't aloof, he's just been lost in a Home Depot for the last six months.

Severance Cash
Newly-ousted Home Depot CEO Bob Nardelli is getting a $210 million severance package. But there's one catch... the money is hopelessly hidden on one of the shelves at Home Depot.

Lacrosse Players Return
Two of the Duke lacrosse players dubiously accused of raping a stripper have been invited back to campus as students in good standing. They're expected to attend about as many classes as they did when they were suspended.


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